I'm sad...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I'm sad...

I'm really sorry for my lack of blogging. It's just lately I haven't been in the mood for that... or for anything else for that matter. You see, my dearest grandfather has passed away on Saturday. It was so unexpected, he wasn't that all, he was quite healthy and active and full of life whatever he did! And it was (still is) shocking and awful.

Grandfather, you say? He was so much more. He always loved all of us, everything he did was to make us happy. And by "us", I mean everyone! All of my family (Not even mentioning grandma, he'd do anything for her!), me, my sis, my little brother, both mine and sisters kids... My son adored him, they were really close. So I also had to break his heart by telling him, grandpa's gone, as well  :( He'd give everything he owned just to be sure we had everything we needed.
He taught me to ride a bike when I was little, taught me to ski in the winter, to recognize mushrooms and berries (and poisonous ones, to stay away from) helped me learn to swim... there's actually a lot. (yes, yes, not only me. So selfish in my grief.)So much memories, so much awesome, great, lovely memories. I should be thankful. But still, I am sad.  And it hurts to visit grandma and see her suffer.
It... it all hurts actually. (and it doesn't help at all, that I've never personally been through that kind of thing, no close family member of mine has died as much as I can remember. )
So I just try to deal with all of it, sad little ol' me.

Yes, it's a sad song, but it's beautiful. And in a way, I find it comforting.  (though it does make me cry at times)

Still, I hope everyone else is ok!